11 days in and I can say that being a mom is one of the hardest things I have ever done.  Not only is it physically exhausting, but emotionally as well.  My hormones have been going crazy and I am crying all the time - partially out of sleep deprivation and frustration, but also because I love my baby so much and looking at her sweet face makes me weep sometimes because I am the happiest I have ever been.

I can't get enough of this face.

For the past week, Gretchen has not been sleeping.  At about 8:00pm-10:00pm she will be up and cry until the morning. She is up for hours at a time and nothing will soothe her to sleep.  She has also been gassy and we can hear it in her tummy, she is really uncomfortable and overtired.  Wednesday I was worried so I took her to the doctor - being up for 8 hours at a time for so many nights in a row is no good for a newborn (or a first time mom)!  The doctor said she has her days and nights mixed up (obviously) and that she is also colicky.  I got some good advice and her doctor told us to start giving her probiotic drops which should help.  I have also cut dairy out of my diet hoping it will help with her gas and I invested in the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child which a friend recommended.

As of the last week here is how my nights usually go:

10:00pm - Gretchen wakes up.  I feed her and burp her.
10:30pm - She stars crying. Try to soothe her.
10:40pm - Continue feeding Gretchen.
11:00pm - Stop feeding her and she starts crying.  I know she is not hungry so I try to soothe her:  bounce her, glide her, rock her, walk up and down the stairs 800 times, put her in her swing, put her on her tummy, put her on her back, put her on her side, put on white noise, try burping her again, sing to her, try to give her to take a binky, dance with her, put a warm blanket on her belly, do leg exercises to try to work out gas.  One night I let her cry for 10 minutes but that was so heartbreaking and I felt like the worst mother ever - it was like she thought she had been abandoned and I couldn't take it.
1:00am - Give up. Nothing will get her to stop crying except nursing so start nursing her again.
1:45am - She looks like she is falling asleep so take her off the breast.
1:46am - She starts crying.
1:47am - Start trying to soothe her again.
2:00am - Start crying because it has been 4 hours and i can't get her to sleep and she sound like she is in pain.
2:01am - Wake up Dave and get him to take her.
2:02am - Go up to my bedroom, lie on the floor, and cry. I can't soothe my own child. 
3:00am - Hear Gretchen crying downstairs. Still no sleep for me.
3:01am - Go downstairs and nurse Gretchen.  Simultaneously Google what is going on and what else I can try.
3:45am - She looks like she is finally falling asleep.  Do nothing.  Leave her on my breast.
4:15am - Finally get the courage to move her up on my chest.
4:16am - She opens her eyes for a second, but looks drowsy.  Pray she will go back to sleep.
4:30am - She still looks sleepy. Give her to Dave and finally shut my eyes.
6:00am - Dave tells me she is finally asleep.  Fall asleep myself.
7:00am - Gretchen wakes up to eat then immediately falls asleep. I nap.
9:00am - Wake up starving and find something to eat for breakfast, then brush my teeth.
9:15am -  The beast has woken. Feed her.  At this point I am unable to nap but Baby G sleeps well all day until this all starts over again in about 12 hours.