11 days in and I can say that being a mom is one of the hardest things I have ever done.  Not only is it physically exhausting, but emotionally as well.  My hormones have been going crazy and I am crying all the time - partially out of sleep deprivation and frustration, but also because I love my baby so much and looking at her sweet face makes me weep sometimes because I am the happiest I have ever been.

I can't get enough of this face.

For the past week, Gretchen has not been sleeping.  At about 8:00pm-10:00pm she will be up and cry until the morning. She is up for hours at a time and nothing will soothe her to sleep.  She has also been gassy and we can hear it in her tummy, she is really uncomfortable and overtired.  Wednesday I was worried so I took her to the doctor - being up for 8 hours at a time for so many nights in a row is no good for a newborn (or a first time mom)!  The doctor said she has her days and nights mixed up (obviously) and that she is also colicky.  I got some good advice and her doctor told us to start giving her probiotic drops which should help.  I have also cut dairy out of my diet hoping it will help with her gas and I invested in the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child which a friend recommended.

As of the last week here is how my nights usually go:

10:00pm - Gretchen wakes up.  I feed her and burp her.
10:30pm - She stars crying. Try to soothe her.
10:40pm - Continue feeding Gretchen.
11:00pm - Stop feeding her and she starts crying.  I know she is not hungry so I try to soothe her:  bounce her, glide her, rock her, walk up and down the stairs 800 times, put her in her swing, put her on her tummy, put her on her back, put her on her side, put on white noise, try burping her again, sing to her, try to give her to take a binky, dance with her, put a warm blanket on her belly, do leg exercises to try to work out gas.  One night I let her cry for 10 minutes but that was so heartbreaking and I felt like the worst mother ever - it was like she thought she had been abandoned and I couldn't take it.
1:00am - Give up. Nothing will get her to stop crying except nursing so start nursing her again.
1:45am - She looks like she is falling asleep so take her off the breast.
1:46am - She starts crying.
1:47am - Start trying to soothe her again.
2:00am - Start crying because it has been 4 hours and i can't get her to sleep and she sound like she is in pain.
2:01am - Wake up Dave and get him to take her.
2:02am - Go up to my bedroom, lie on the floor, and cry. I can't soothe my own child. 
3:00am - Hear Gretchen crying downstairs. Still no sleep for me.
3:01am - Go downstairs and nurse Gretchen.  Simultaneously Google what is going on and what else I can try.
3:45am - She looks like she is finally falling asleep.  Do nothing.  Leave her on my breast.
4:15am - Finally get the courage to move her up on my chest.
4:16am - She opens her eyes for a second, but looks drowsy.  Pray she will go back to sleep.
4:30am - She still looks sleepy. Give her to Dave and finally shut my eyes.
6:00am - Dave tells me she is finally asleep.  Fall asleep myself.
7:00am - Gretchen wakes up to eat then immediately falls asleep. I nap.
9:00am - Wake up starving and find something to eat for breakfast, then brush my teeth.
9:15am -  The beast has woken. Feed her.  At this point I am unable to nap but Baby G sleeps well all day until this all starts over again in about 12 hours.

I cannot believe our sweet baby girl is already one week old today!  This past week has been the fastest and biggest blur of my life.  I wish I could freeze time - I want her to be this little forever, but I can't wait to watch her grow.  Gretchen is so perfect and sweet and I could stare at her for hours.

I love these feet.

...and end photo shoot.

Weight:  Birth weight was 7 lbs. 14 oz.. At her 4 day check up she was 7 lbs. 5 oz.

Height:  20 inches

Clothing Size:  Newborn

Eating:  Momma's breast milk has finally come in.  Gretchen normally will suck herself into a milk coma during most feedings.

Sleeping:  It seems like she sleeps most during the days.  I pulled my first all nighter with her the second day home from the hospital.  She gets into these deeps sleeps though where nothing will wake her and she will flail her arms and legs. She also makes the cutest faces in her sleep.  My two favorite are one where she will mean mug and the other is a face Dave also makes - she will raise her eyebrows and scrunch her forehead while the rest of her face is relaxed.

Health:  We spent 2 days in the NICU after she was born because of low blood sugar and a uterine infection scare (both her and I had temperatures over 100) everything is okay though!

Speech:  Not yet, although she makes these cute noises in her sleep sometimes.

Nicknames:  Greta Lou, Gretty, Grouchy Greta (when she won't stop crying), The Beast

Personality:  She is very laid back and loves to stare at things.  She especially loves looking at her daddy.   

Baby Gear Love:  I don't think I would have survived breastfeeding to this point without my Boppy Pillow

Milestones:  I would say birth...it was hard work for both of us.

Likes:  She loooooves when daddy bounces her on the exercise ball.  She also loves cuddling and scrunching into a ball...we call it the frog.  Oh and getting her hair brushed.

Dislikes:  Sponge baths.

Things I Don't Want To Forget:  Day 6 she had her first big blow out.  It was after midnight and I heard a big splat in her diaper.  I asked Dave to change her because I was getting ready to nurse and he was like I think she just farted.  Anyway, he goes to change her and I went into her room to see if she had pooped and she had...Dave started wiping her and then she started pooping more...and more...and more...we probably went through 5 diapers.  My favorite quotes from her dad while this was happening and I am sure she will be embarrassed about when she is older and reads this:  "her sphincter is still open" and "I have never seen poop come out of a butt hole before."  I was dying laughing while all of this was happening and thanking God I wasn't still pregnant or else I would have been throwing up everywhere.

It is probably a little early to be thinking about the 4th of July, but I know these next couple of weeks are going to fly by. I love holidays and this is the first year I have a place of my own to decorate! I am well aware that we will have a newborn in the house so I won’t have a lot of time for crafts, but here are some easy things I might be able to manage that will bring in the holiday spirit!

1. Decorate the baby.
This one is easy and the surest out of my list of ideas that is going to happen.



I am obsessing over these right now.



Love this romper.



This headband.



Maybe a DIY headband?  Atleast this way I can make sure we match!

2.  Get nails done.
Dave loves getting pedi’s with me so I will have backup at the nail salon to help take care of baby girl. Maybe if she is sleeping they will paint her little piggy’s to match mine!



3. Do some crafts.
Love these ideas and they seem easy enough. I already have most of the supplies laying around the house.




4.  Make some festive food.
I am a sucker for Jello Pretzel Salad. Costco has some yummy gluten free pretzels that would work great for this too. I might sub the strawberries for blueberries though to add a little blue.



5. Light some fireworks.
My husband has a box of fireworks in the garage that I would have to say is one of his most prized possessions. I know he will have fun lighting these off, but I am a little nervous about having baby girl around fireworks since they are so loud – advice on this? Maybe we can just stick to some sparklers and Chinese Lanterns this year.

I can’t believe I am already 40 weeks pregnant. No...I can’t believe I have almost been pregnant for an entire year! I am actually in such disbelief right now that I am trying to decide if I actually just grew a human from scratch or if I just got extremely fat over the past nine months. If it weren’t for the extra set of legs poking out of my side, I would probably have to say fat.

My midwife said that average first time moms have their babies 8 days late so not to expect a baby until mid-June. She told me this a while ago, but I guess I just hoped I wouldn’t see today without a baby in my arms.

Anyways, I found some funny memes that explain pretty accurately how I am feeling today.  Enjoy!

How far along: 39 weeks and 6 days.

Gender: Girl.

Weight Gain: Last appointment I lost weight so a total of +30 pounds from my pre pregnancy weight.

Maternity Clothes: Yes. It will be exciting when I am back in my normal clothes…I don’t even remember what I used to wear!

Stretch Marks: On my lower belly. They seem like they are getting wider too. I like them the best when I stand up from lying down because they aren’t as dark. Once the blood rushes to my belly they turn purple.

Belly button in our out: Still an inny…not even flat.
 
Sleep: I started listening to my hypnobirthing CD every night before bed and I always fall asleep during it. I swear it makes me sleep better!  At the same time the last few nights I have been waking up from contractions...hopefully that means any day now.

Best moment of the week: Finally got the glider for the nursery.  The nursery is now COMPLETE! It's just missing a baby…

Miss Anything: I miss not having to pee 6 times an hour. It is the worst at night. I have the biggest urges to go to the bathroom and then barely anything comes out. I had a dream the other night that my lady parts were a leaky faucet and that no matter what I did I couldn't stop dribbling everywhere…man I am going to miss pregnancy dreams.

Movement: Oh yes…when she stretches her legs her feet stick out my side. It is painful, but Dave thinks it is so awesome.

Cravings: A house salad with ranch dressing.  Also cookie dough.  I ate a dozen cookies by myself tonight...

Symptoms: Lots of Braxton Hicks…nothing too painful except in the middle of the night when they cause me to wake up.  Also today my hips have been feeling loose and I have been having some pain in my groin area.
 
Looking forward to: D-Day…my official D-Day is tomorrow, but I am guessing it will come and go without a baby.

I had such a wonderful relaxing weekend. I started off by getting a massage after work on Friday and then Saturday I went and got a mani/pedi. I figured I should take the last weekend (hopefully) I had babyless and get pampered a little.

Saturday was such a beautiful day and I had to go out to shoot some photos for my final photography project. I decided to head down to the marina to take pictures. I snuck onto the docs with some people who were going to their boat and spent about an hour taking pictures of ducks and boats and people. Then a man stopped me and asked me if I was getting some good shots. I turned around to respond and when he saw I was enormously pregnant his eyes lit up and he said I am going to give you the golden ticket to parenting.

He starts out by telling me that his children are in college, but when they were much younger (the youngest around 6 months) a man stopped him and talked his ear off for about 20 minutes and gave him the golden ticket to parenting and he was paying it forward to me. I guess that was my indication that I was about to get my ear talked off for 20 minutes.

Mainly what he told me was that when my babies are just learning to stand and walk that I should get a crap load of ping pong balls and throw them at them as fast as I can – one right after the other. At first I was a little shocked but then he explained to me that it is what he likes to call “push-ups for the eyes”. He said that it will start training them at a very young age to track fast moving objects and it will help them later in life. He told me that his son is an amazing baseball player and his daughter has set 6 swimming records at Gonzaga and he attributes their success to the ping pong balls.

Then he got on his boat in search of a baseball which he gave to me. He said he always keeps a baseball with him to remind him of this. He then told me that once I have realized that this is the number one best thing I could do as a parent to pay it forward.

Yes, he seemed a little cray cray, but I put the baseball in baby girl’s nursery as a reminder to chuck ping pong balls at her in about a year – just not as aggressively as this man told me.